So she left me actually, this time I broke the last straw on
the camel’s back… messed up while trying to clean up a mess. She got up and
left me for dead. She was the best thing that happened to me since my first
degree, loyal, honest to a fault… she was like one of those Disney channel
princess. I couldn’t blame her though, she was such a good girl and I was bad
lover. In the real sense, all I wanted to do was to please her I couldn’t
fathom and still can’t fathom where I messed that up.
So the afternoon was meant to be the getaway… we had all
things planned to the letter, I probably got tired after all the festivities of
child dedication, so I missed my texts and parts of the plan.
Basically I
screwed up as usual; I always knew this was going to be my undoing. Meanwhile,
she was early as usual, took her time to look astonishing and I wasted it... I
don’t blame her then. She always deserves better, she was fit for a king, fit
for royalty. It would probably take two hearts to equal her love.
I sometimes feel short changed, I could handle a whole class
of grownups and I couldn’t handle a relationship, I could nail any presentation,
any task, any project I couldn’t do the simple most important task of my
existence makes a woman happy.
To the lady I write this to, am sorry, really sorry. I am
sorry for being a sorry ass. I guess truly I was not yet the best lover, you
expected, or you weren’t as patient as I thought women would (enduring). All
the same, this has nothing to do with winning you back… NO! You are way out of
my league now. I have some plans and healing to do. You are way too special.
Thank you for the blissful love thought we were going to be an issue together,
I still cherish you and will always do.
This is for you. Never thought I would be this short changed
in life. I guess I have to live and learn. If you ever read this to the end… I
LOVE YOU. The best wife I never had or probably will have if God smiles at me.
