So she left me actually,

So she left me actually, this time I broke the last straw on the camel’s back… messed up while trying to clean up a mess. She got up and left me for dead. She was the best thing that happened to me since my first degree, loyal, honest to a fault… she was like one of those Disney channel princess. I couldn’t blame her though, she was such a good girl and I was bad lover. In the real sense, all I wanted to do was to please her I couldn’t fathom and still can’t fathom where I messed that up.

So the afternoon was meant to be the getaway… we had all things planned to the letter, I probably got tired after all the festivities of child dedication, so I missed my texts and parts of the plan. 

Basically I screwed up as usual; I always knew this was going to be my undoing. Meanwhile, she was early as usual, took her time to look astonishing and I wasted it... I don’t blame her then. She always deserves better, she was fit for a king, fit for royalty. It would probably take two hearts to equal her love.

I sometimes feel short changed, I could handle a whole class of grownups and I couldn’t handle a relationship, I could nail any presentation, any task, any project I couldn’t do the simple most important task of my existence makes a woman happy. 

To the lady I write this to, am sorry, really sorry. I am sorry for being a sorry ass. I guess truly I was not yet the best lover, you expected, or you weren’t as patient as I thought women would (enduring). All the same, this has nothing to do with winning you back… NO! You are way out of my league now. I have some plans and healing to do. You are way too special. Thank you for the blissful love thought we were going to be an issue together, I still cherish you and will always do.

This is for you. Never thought I would be this short changed in life. I guess I have to live and learn. If you ever read this to the end… I LOVE YOU. The best wife I never had or probably will have if God smiles at me.

New Year Resolutions I Would Love To Hear.

This article is a late comer as I was too busy laughing over it in my mind, at first it started like a “shower” idea, very goofy. The idea of resolution is to keep one disciplined to a line of action and somewhat ritual for a particular time span. It’s mostly achievable, often nebulous and rarely completed.

So I came up with a list of resolutions I would love some notable personalities to make, through the years I have discovered that making and keeping resolutions can be an herculean task, but  it shouldn’t dissuade us from keeping one. As I said, this is a list of resolutions I would love to hear, so here goes;

“I will try as much as possible to keep my mouth shut, try to learn sign language if necessary, sack my speech writer and hire an English interpreter so I don’t have to speak English in public”  Dame Patience Jonathan

“I will remember that the election is not a Do or Die affair, if I lose I’ll just say ‘I guess they preferred the other party to mine” Rtd. Buhari

“I will use my last days in office to dance (shoki) around campaign grounds not to rig the elections, but to contribute to a better Nigeria “  Goodluck Jonathan

“We are sorry for blowing things Up!, we will start targeting corrupt leaders, we will also return the girls early enough for Valentine”  Boko haram

“We will go away and mind our own business”  USA

“I promise not to be a figure head, even though am sure that I know absolutely nothing about governing a state..”  George Ambode

“I will realize that education is key and enroll to a university..” Chindima

“I will continue from last year, drop bombshells, fast and pray for Nigeria in between I will avoid unnecessary media attention”  Tunde Bakare

“I will not be bought over or threatened by powers that be, by all means it will be at least a free election if not fair” Attaihru Jega

  

‘I will find better use for my enormous unscrupulously gotten wealth than trying to buy election” Bola Tinubu

“I will realize that destroying the value of Naira and introducing austerity measures that will only make the rich become richer and the poor more miserable is not good for Nigeria’s economy”  Okonjo Eweala

“I will finally quit making excuses and admit that I made a career mistake leaving Don-Jazzy and plying my trade abroad and I will seek urgent help”  Dbanj

“For verification, I am still part of PDP, but I support ACP, I will remain above the law, I will continue to remotely control the affairs of Nigeria from my Abeokuta castle” Olusegun Obasanjo

“I will hire a psychologist , and stay in my clothes in between I will also look for other ways to get media attention” Maheeda

“I am terribly sorry for all my misdeeds, I promise to start spending big, I will stop waiting for free agents” Arsene Wenger

“I will continue to do whatever it is that I have been doing”  Abubakar Atiku

“If we don’t give you ‘light’ it is because we ourselves don’t have” PHCN

“You guys must understand I am a family man too, I have bills to pay, but I will summon courage and retire from football and probably chase a career in Modeling” Fernando Torres

“We will keep our marriage private and be faithful to our spouse” Nollywood Actors

“We will stop booting and reduce our tariffs, we will also admit we have been scamming Nigerians” DSTV

“We are terribly sorry for all the lying a, We are not the best connection, we will compensate you with more promos” MTN

“As much as possible, I will try to communicate, I will start by purchasing brighter grammar” Patrick Obahiagbon

“Being an actor is manageable, being a musician? No way! It is not my calling I will stop harassing everybody with my hoary voice”   Tonto Dikeh

  

“We will go away” The Kardshians

“I will keep my mouth shut once and for all, I know am just bluffing” Asari Dokubo

“We will stop lying about creating jobs, doing better roads and ensuring security because we don’t give a rat ass about you guys”  Nigerian Politician

“Same as every year: stay out of jail, stay in my clothes” Lindsay Lohan

“I will loose weight like seriously, if Rickross can, I should” Wande Coal

“I will enjoy my last months of privacy” T.Bills and Tiwa Savage’s Baby

“we will not forget about the chibok girls, the mounting list of victims of brutal terrorist attacks, the violence in the North, South and remote areas of our country, the gross injustice metted on innocent citizens”   Nigerians

One thing about new year resolution is that it is difficult to keep,  easy to make and very easy to make for others….Remember this and have a very Happy New Year.

Nigeria Economy: No Longer At Ease.

“Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold…”

                                (The Second Coming, 1919) W.B Yeats .

The present state of the Nigerian economy is a very worrying state, with oil prices taking a downward spiral in fact the benchmark has been rubbished, the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) not cutting output as well as the Central Bank of Nigeria’s (CBN) Monetary Policy Committee’s decision to devalue the Naira and the imminent deficit budget.

How did we end up in this mess?

One central cause is the decision of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to devalue the Naira late last year as part of palliative measures taken by its Monetary Policy Committee to stabilize the Nigerian economy. As a catalyst, the exchange rate of Naira to Dollar rose and remains on a high. At the same time, our oil revenue has dwindled as we have been using our reserves to keep the Naira stable.

While the Central Bank stepped in last year to send the Naira to its biggest one-day gain in three years, this ‘intervention’ in the market has reduced foreign reserves to a four month low of $37.8 billion, so we spent all the reserves trying to save our economy from an imminent downturn, and we didn’t maximize savings while the oil price was high.

As if this is not enough; oil, which is our major and arguably only source of revenue, started nose diving due to lack of demand. The oil price has dropped by more than 40%; as at June last year, it was sold for $115 per barrel, but is now sold for $47 in the main market (Bloomberg.com), and $45 in the black market (Economist.com).              

What caused this?

Firstly, oil prices are determined by supply and demand just like any other commodity. They are affected by changing economic activities as well as by decisions made by the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC). Experts believe that a growing switch from oil to other fuels, the turmoil in Iraq and Libya (which are major oil-producing Nations); and more importantly, America which used to be a major consumer becoming the world’s largest oil producer with more than 20,000 new oil wells since 2010, ten times more than Saudi Arabia’s tally (Economist.com); has contributed to the drop in oil prices. America’s recent rise in the oil business has been made possible by “frackling shale formations”, which is basically a mixture of water, sand and some chemicals injected into shale formations ‘rocks’ to release oil. It is a relatively new technology, and is also reportedly being secretly replicated in China and the Czech Republic.

How does this affect the common man?

Since the oil price is low, our external reserves are also low, Naira has been devalued, exchange rate for dollars is on a high, which means if you earn in Naira and incur costs in Dollars, then you are in for a very rough time. The Central Bank of Nigeria has taken several steps in stabilizing the economy, notably through increasing the percentage of Cash Reserve Ratio (CRR) for the private sector deposit from 15%-20%  and Monetary Policy Rate (MPR) from 12%-13% . This move is expected to help regulate inflationary rise. Also certain austerity measures as mentioned by Minister of Finance will be taken; top on that list is the removal of subsidy. This will ultimately lead to increase in pump price and so many other ripple effects will follow.

What is the way forward?

To ensure the situation does not get any worse than it currently is, the federal government should judiciously cut its expensive lifestyle and be more prudent with managing oil revenue. We must take drastic measures to find other means to internally generate revenue (aside crude oil) and diversify our economy. Encouraging indigenous manufacturers by implementing suitable laws, we have to stop being an import dependent economy; we export fuel and import petrol? In some quarters that’s gross foolishness, we have 4 (four) unused oil refineries, we expend natural gas and leave them untapped, solving all this issues would be a step in the right direction in this import eroded economy.