New Year Resolutions I Would Love To Hear.

This article is a late comer as I was too busy laughing over it in my mind, at first it started like a “shower” idea, very goofy. The idea of resolution is to keep one disciplined to a line of action and somewhat ritual for a particular time span. It’s mostly achievable, often nebulous and rarely completed.

So I came up with a list of resolutions I would love some notable personalities to make, through the years I have discovered that making and keeping resolutions can be an herculean task, but  it shouldn’t dissuade us from keeping one. As I said, this is a list of resolutions I would love to hear, so here goes;

“I will try as much as possible to keep my mouth shut, try to learn sign language if necessary, sack my speech writer and hire an English interpreter so I don’t have to speak English in public”  Dame Patience Jonathan

“I will remember that the election is not a Do or Die affair, if I lose I’ll just say ‘I guess they preferred the other party to mine” Rtd. Buhari

“I will use my last days in office to dance (shoki) around campaign grounds not to rig the elections, but to contribute to a better Nigeria “  Goodluck Jonathan

“We are sorry for blowing things Up!, we will start targeting corrupt leaders, we will also return the girls early enough for Valentine”  Boko haram

“We will go away and mind our own business”  USA

“I promise not to be a figure head, even though am sure that I know absolutely nothing about governing a state..”  George Ambode

“I will realize that education is key and enroll to a university..” Chindima

“I will continue from last year, drop bombshells, fast and pray for Nigeria in between I will avoid unnecessary media attention”  Tunde Bakare

“I will not be bought over or threatened by powers that be, by all means it will be at least a free election if not fair” Attaihru Jega

  

‘I will find better use for my enormous unscrupulously gotten wealth than trying to buy election” Bola Tinubu

“I will realize that destroying the value of Naira and introducing austerity measures that will only make the rich become richer and the poor more miserable is not good for Nigeria’s economy”  Okonjo Eweala

“I will finally quit making excuses and admit that I made a career mistake leaving Don-Jazzy and plying my trade abroad and I will seek urgent help”  Dbanj

“For verification, I am still part of PDP, but I support ACP, I will remain above the law, I will continue to remotely control the affairs of Nigeria from my Abeokuta castle” Olusegun Obasanjo

“I will hire a psychologist , and stay in my clothes in between I will also look for other ways to get media attention” Maheeda

“I am terribly sorry for all my misdeeds, I promise to start spending big, I will stop waiting for free agents” Arsene Wenger

“I will continue to do whatever it is that I have been doing”  Abubakar Atiku

“If we don’t give you ‘light’ it is because we ourselves don’t have” PHCN

“You guys must understand I am a family man too, I have bills to pay, but I will summon courage and retire from football and probably chase a career in Modeling” Fernando Torres

“We will keep our marriage private and be faithful to our spouse” Nollywood Actors

“We will stop booting and reduce our tariffs, we will also admit we have been scamming Nigerians” DSTV

“We are terribly sorry for all the lying a, We are not the best connection, we will compensate you with more promos” MTN

“As much as possible, I will try to communicate, I will start by purchasing brighter grammar” Patrick Obahiagbon

“Being an actor is manageable, being a musician? No way! It is not my calling I will stop harassing everybody with my hoary voice”   Tonto Dikeh

  

“We will go away” The Kardshians

“I will keep my mouth shut once and for all, I know am just bluffing” Asari Dokubo

“We will stop lying about creating jobs, doing better roads and ensuring security because we don’t give a rat ass about you guys”  Nigerian Politician

“Same as every year: stay out of jail, stay in my clothes” Lindsay Lohan

“I will loose weight like seriously, if Rickross can, I should” Wande Coal

“I will enjoy my last months of privacy” T.Bills and Tiwa Savage’s Baby

“we will not forget about the chibok girls, the mounting list of victims of brutal terrorist attacks, the violence in the North, South and remote areas of our country, the gross injustice metted on innocent citizens”   Nigerians

One thing about new year resolution is that it is difficult to keep,  easy to make and very easy to make for others….Remember this and have a very Happy New Year.