So she left me actually,

So she left me actually, this time I broke the last straw on the camel’s back… messed up while trying to clean up a mess. She got up and left me for dead. She was the best thing that happened to me since my first degree, loyal, honest to a fault… she was like one of those Disney channel princess. I couldn’t blame her though, she was such a good girl and I was bad lover. In the real sense, all I wanted to do was to please her I couldn’t fathom and still can’t fathom where I messed that up.

So the afternoon was meant to be the getaway… we had all things planned to the letter, I probably got tired after all the festivities of child dedication, so I missed my texts and parts of the plan. 

Basically I screwed up as usual; I always knew this was going to be my undoing. Meanwhile, she was early as usual, took her time to look astonishing and I wasted it... I don’t blame her then. She always deserves better, she was fit for a king, fit for royalty. It would probably take two hearts to equal her love.

I sometimes feel short changed, I could handle a whole class of grownups and I couldn’t handle a relationship, I could nail any presentation, any task, any project I couldn’t do the simple most important task of my existence makes a woman happy. 

To the lady I write this to, am sorry, really sorry. I am sorry for being a sorry ass. I guess truly I was not yet the best lover, you expected, or you weren’t as patient as I thought women would (enduring). All the same, this has nothing to do with winning you back… NO! You are way out of my league now. I have some plans and healing to do. You are way too special. Thank you for the blissful love thought we were going to be an issue together, I still cherish you and will always do.

This is for you. Never thought I would be this short changed in life. I guess I have to live and learn. If you ever read this to the end… I LOVE YOU. The best wife I never had or probably will have if God smiles at me.

New Year Resolutions I Would Love To Hear.

This article is a late comer as I was too busy laughing over it in my mind, at first it started like a “shower” idea, very goofy. The idea of resolution is to keep one disciplined to a line of action and somewhat ritual for a particular time span. It’s mostly achievable, often nebulous and rarely completed.

So I came up with a list of resolutions I would love some notable personalities to make, through the years I have discovered that making and keeping resolutions can be an herculean task, but  it shouldn’t dissuade us from keeping one. As I said, this is a list of resolutions I would love to hear, so here goes;

“I will try as much as possible to keep my mouth shut, try to learn sign language if necessary, sack my speech writer and hire an English interpreter so I don’t have to speak English in public”  Dame Patience Jonathan

“I will remember that the election is not a Do or Die affair, if I lose I’ll just say ‘I guess they preferred the other party to mine” Rtd. Buhari

“I will use my last days in office to dance (shoki) around campaign grounds not to rig the elections, but to contribute to a better Nigeria “  Goodluck Jonathan

“We are sorry for blowing things Up!, we will start targeting corrupt leaders, we will also return the girls early enough for Valentine”  Boko haram

“We will go away and mind our own business”  USA

“I promise not to be a figure head, even though am sure that I know absolutely nothing about governing a state..”  George Ambode

“I will realize that education is key and enroll to a university..” Chindima

“I will continue from last year, drop bombshells, fast and pray for Nigeria in between I will avoid unnecessary media attention”  Tunde Bakare

“I will not be bought over or threatened by powers that be, by all means it will be at least a free election if not fair” Attaihru Jega

  

‘I will find better use for my enormous unscrupulously gotten wealth than trying to buy election” Bola Tinubu

“I will realize that destroying the value of Naira and introducing austerity measures that will only make the rich become richer and the poor more miserable is not good for Nigeria’s economy”  Okonjo Eweala

“I will finally quit making excuses and admit that I made a career mistake leaving Don-Jazzy and plying my trade abroad and I will seek urgent help”  Dbanj

“For verification, I am still part of PDP, but I support ACP, I will remain above the law, I will continue to remotely control the affairs of Nigeria from my Abeokuta castle” Olusegun Obasanjo

“I will hire a psychologist , and stay in my clothes in between I will also look for other ways to get media attention” Maheeda

“I am terribly sorry for all my misdeeds, I promise to start spending big, I will stop waiting for free agents” Arsene Wenger

“I will continue to do whatever it is that I have been doing”  Abubakar Atiku

“If we don’t give you ‘light’ it is because we ourselves don’t have” PHCN

“You guys must understand I am a family man too, I have bills to pay, but I will summon courage and retire from football and probably chase a career in Modeling” Fernando Torres

“We will keep our marriage private and be faithful to our spouse” Nollywood Actors

“We will stop booting and reduce our tariffs, we will also admit we have been scamming Nigerians” DSTV

“We are terribly sorry for all the lying a, We are not the best connection, we will compensate you with more promos” MTN

“As much as possible, I will try to communicate, I will start by purchasing brighter grammar” Patrick Obahiagbon

“Being an actor is manageable, being a musician? No way! It is not my calling I will stop harassing everybody with my hoary voice”   Tonto Dikeh

  

“We will go away” The Kardshians

“I will keep my mouth shut once and for all, I know am just bluffing” Asari Dokubo

“We will stop lying about creating jobs, doing better roads and ensuring security because we don’t give a rat ass about you guys”  Nigerian Politician

“Same as every year: stay out of jail, stay in my clothes” Lindsay Lohan

“I will loose weight like seriously, if Rickross can, I should” Wande Coal

“I will enjoy my last months of privacy” T.Bills and Tiwa Savage’s Baby

“we will not forget about the chibok girls, the mounting list of victims of brutal terrorist attacks, the violence in the North, South and remote areas of our country, the gross injustice metted on innocent citizens”   Nigerians

One thing about new year resolution is that it is difficult to keep,  easy to make and very easy to make for others….Remember this and have a very Happy New Year.

Nigeria Economy: No Longer At Ease.

“Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold…”

                                (The Second Coming, 1919) W.B Yeats .

The present state of the Nigerian economy is a very worrying state, with oil prices taking a downward spiral in fact the benchmark has been rubbished, the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) not cutting output as well as the Central Bank of Nigeria’s (CBN) Monetary Policy Committee’s decision to devalue the Naira and the imminent deficit budget.

How did we end up in this mess?

One central cause is the decision of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) to devalue the Naira late last year as part of palliative measures taken by its Monetary Policy Committee to stabilize the Nigerian economy. As a catalyst, the exchange rate of Naira to Dollar rose and remains on a high. At the same time, our oil revenue has dwindled as we have been using our reserves to keep the Naira stable.

While the Central Bank stepped in last year to send the Naira to its biggest one-day gain in three years, this ‘intervention’ in the market has reduced foreign reserves to a four month low of $37.8 billion, so we spent all the reserves trying to save our economy from an imminent downturn, and we didn’t maximize savings while the oil price was high.

As if this is not enough; oil, which is our major and arguably only source of revenue, started nose diving due to lack of demand. The oil price has dropped by more than 40%; as at June last year, it was sold for $115 per barrel, but is now sold for $47 in the main market (Bloomberg.com), and $45 in the black market (Economist.com).              

What caused this?

Firstly, oil prices are determined by supply and demand just like any other commodity. They are affected by changing economic activities as well as by decisions made by the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC). Experts believe that a growing switch from oil to other fuels, the turmoil in Iraq and Libya (which are major oil-producing Nations); and more importantly, America which used to be a major consumer becoming the world’s largest oil producer with more than 20,000 new oil wells since 2010, ten times more than Saudi Arabia’s tally (Economist.com); has contributed to the drop in oil prices. America’s recent rise in the oil business has been made possible by “frackling shale formations”, which is basically a mixture of water, sand and some chemicals injected into shale formations ‘rocks’ to release oil. It is a relatively new technology, and is also reportedly being secretly replicated in China and the Czech Republic.

How does this affect the common man?

Since the oil price is low, our external reserves are also low, Naira has been devalued, exchange rate for dollars is on a high, which means if you earn in Naira and incur costs in Dollars, then you are in for a very rough time. The Central Bank of Nigeria has taken several steps in stabilizing the economy, notably through increasing the percentage of Cash Reserve Ratio (CRR) for the private sector deposit from 15%-20%  and Monetary Policy Rate (MPR) from 12%-13% . This move is expected to help regulate inflationary rise. Also certain austerity measures as mentioned by Minister of Finance will be taken; top on that list is the removal of subsidy. This will ultimately lead to increase in pump price and so many other ripple effects will follow.

What is the way forward?

To ensure the situation does not get any worse than it currently is, the federal government should judiciously cut its expensive lifestyle and be more prudent with managing oil revenue. We must take drastic measures to find other means to internally generate revenue (aside crude oil) and diversify our economy. Encouraging indigenous manufacturers by implementing suitable laws, we have to stop being an import dependent economy; we export fuel and import petrol? In some quarters that’s gross foolishness, we have 4 (four) unused oil refineries, we expend natural gas and leave them untapped, solving all this issues would be a step in the right direction in this import eroded economy.

Re-branding and its Benefit

Re-branding a business is the process of creating a new look and feel for an already existing brand or product in order to influence its customer’s perception. This may include changing the name, logo or packaging. Re-branding can be a very challenging but extremely rewarding process. It requires careful consideration and planning to achieve the desired goal which is to breathe new life into a brand to attract new customers and increase its popularity. Nigerian Breweries, Oando, and Glo are examples of Nigerian companies that are constantly re-branding and are enjoying wide acceptance among the Nigerian public.

 In 1997, tech giant Apple was very close to declaring bankruptcy, but a little less than 17 years later, stock prices have gone up from $6 to $350 and the company keeps shooting in an upward trajectory. Apple did not only rebrand the company’s name, mascot and logo, but also started producing reliable and elegantly designed products, adding artistry to technology; as changing its name from Apple Computer to Apple enabled the company to produce innovative products such as iMac, iPod, iPad, and iPhone. Apple found a way to polish its brand and create a positive experience for its customers.

Until recently, McDonald’s had the image of a chain that served unhealthy meals sold at exorbitant prices; in fact, critics touted McDonald’s meals to be one of the leading causes of obesity. McDonald’s has since rebranded itself, now serving more healthy meals with reduced prices under the slogan “I’m lovin it”. This makeover appears to be having a ripple effect as there has been a reported 5.3 percent rise in sales according to Business Insider.

Wal-Mart, in a 2007 re-branding, replaced its tagline “Always low price” with “Save money. Live better”. This singular act changed the company’s reputation from offering retails at rock bottom prices to suggesting that buying items at low prices will improve the lifestyle of the customer. In 2010, Wal-Mart was the world’s largest public corporation by revenue, according to the Forbes Global 2000 for that year.

Re-branding is generally aimed at repositioning a brand or company, usually in an attempt to move the brand up market. According to Business Insider, it doesn’t only change the customer’s response to the brand but also helps the brand achieve its goals. It’s a careful strategy; often times subtle and methodical, and may involve both re-imaging and regeneration. Change, as it is said, is inevitable; it is pertinent that companies adopt new strategies when needed rather than sticking with the same strategy for years even when it starts to feel uninteresting with time.

Re-branding is considered a smart business decision for the following reasons:

• ·         Every brand needs refreshing to stay relevant as the 21^st century market is an ever evolving one, re-branding affords companies the chance to sort out a new strategy to make their brand relevant and more importantly, remain relevant.
• ·         Re-branding influences the customers perception, when a product wears a new look, or has a new feel or a company updates its marketing materials and strategies with a careful consideration of the target customer, the customer perception changes and tilts more positively.
• ·         Re-branding offers the opportunity to clarify image, while allowing room for future growth this naturally improves the bottom line by conveying a company’s core value and brand message.
• ·         Re-branding can breathe new life into a business when it is done with a strategy, a process, thought and most importantly for the right reasons. This will set the product or company apart from competitors.
• 
  

As has been undoubtedly witnessed in the examples of companies that have rebranded, re-branding brings along with it its own basket of gifts both for the company and their customers. It must be stressed that in re-branding, corporate establishments must take the current needs and desires of their customers into consideration but still stay true to themselves as a respectable brand as seen in the example of McDonald’s.

 Re-branding must also be meaningful and powerful enough that it would improve the relationship between the company and current customers as well as prospective new ones. Most importantly, companies need to rebrand to stay ahead of competition in a very competitive market where you can get left behind if you don’t keep up with the ever-growing demands of customers and the trends in the society that create such demands. This will ensure that brands don’t lose their usefulness and help them create a stronger voice for their brands.

                          

Sources:

Business Insider.

                                                                                                                       Adewale Socrates

15 Things Nigerians Have Been Calling Wrongly

15 THINGS NIGERIANS HAVE BEEN CALLING THE WRONG NAME

People get away with different kinds of oral blunders everyday in Nigeria. Making a blunder of course is not a sin, in fact people would assume you are culturally alienated if you speak too much “correct grammar”. Few weeks ago I was at the reception of a popular radio station in the heart of Lagos island, and I heard an on-air personality (OAP) refer to a baby diaper as “pampers”. As awkward as this sounds it is a normal trend in this part of the world to mistaken a brand for a product. Over the years these oral blunders have become acceptable in our society, so much so that different generations have adopted the same vocabulary when describing these ‘products’. So consider that many terms we use every day like zippers, escalators, were in fact brand names even Heroin and kerosene believe it or not!

Apparently some brands have become generic nomenclatures for some product lines. So I have put together a list of products that Nigerians and to some extent the global village call wrongly…

·         MAGGI: looking for something to season your food? For most Nigerians food seasoning is synonymous with Maggi! Yet it is in fact the brand name for a stock cube which is just one product line that the company sells globally. There are other brands in this line Knorr, Royco, Ajinomoto, Vedan, Hunga etc.

·          Almost every child and mother is familiar with INDOMIE in fact most are probably oblivious of the fact that it is a brand of noodles made by Indofood originally from Indonesia. Yes it’s not made in Nigeria.

·         Even though you are more likely referring to a sausage roll, the first thing you ask for in traffic when you peep through your car window is GALA. The brand has been aggressively enforced to be the leading name in its line of products to the extent that it eclipsed all other.

·          Strangely enough PAMPERS is not only a brand name but like its other counterparts it is also not remotely Nigerian. It is from the stables of P&G who have many products in the marketplace. Indigenous diaper producers and manufacturers include Wemy Dr.Browns (the very first manufacturers of diapers in Nigeria), Bino baby choice etc

·         When Maclean toothpaste was originally released into Nigeria by GlaxoSmithKline plc in the 90s it was a best seller, since we didn’t have a standard brand of tooth-paste.

·         We all buy disinfectants for a variety of reasons but do we call it that? No, we are all used to asking for DETTOL which is a trade name for a line of hygiene products manufactured by Reckitt Benckiser.

·         Have you ever heard of anyone asking for hook and loop fasteners? No, they are more likely to ask for VELCRO. George de Mastreal is the little known inventor who used matted dog hair in creating a globally used product.

·            VASELINE a registered brand of unilever, a brand of petroleum jelly originally produced in the USA.

·         The portable audio cassette player is internationally known as a WALKMAN. This is the trademark of Sony and is just another thing that perhaps most people don’t realize.

·         The DISCMAN , like the WALKMAN, is another Sony trademark that slipped into our lingua franca, because some would consider ‘portable compact disc’ a mouthful

·         There are some trademarks which are commonly used as generic terms. Jacuzzi would be one. JACUZZI is a brand of hot tubs and bath tubs; they also make mattresses and toilets, so you should be clearer the next time you ask someone to “join you in the Jacuzzi”.

·         PING PONG is also another mistaken brand name. It is a brand of table tennis products yet the word is used interchangeably to describe a game of table tennis. Creatively the brand was named ‘Ping Pong’ due to the sounds the ball makes when it hits the table

·         BIKINI. At one time this was a trademark.  This form of swim wear was first banned in many areas in Africa, North America and Asia for being too revealing…of late this two piece swim female swimsuit is now everywhere and the word ‘bikini’ is now generic.

·         GOOGLE does not entirely belong to this line of products, still it is worthy of mention. We do not just use the brand as a generic name for search engines, we have also verbalized it. So we say things like “I will Google your name” or “Google it”.

·         Am sure once or twice during our trips to a boutique or the clothes section of a shopping mall, we have asked for ‘POLO’ which is a brand of easy wear shirts with collar. Apparently, the proper nomenclature for that range of product is “Collar T-shirts”. Yes a mouthful!

What’s interesting is that the marketing of these products has been done phenomenally such that the brand becomes a functional part of everyday language. The trademarked brands, new and old, have taken on generic usage of their own. When the language becomes so deeply engrained into the minds of the people the product actually becomes indigenous, subconsciously.

So remember, not all Diapers are pampers and not all tooth pastes are ‘MacLean’, also there is no such thing as, “baby wipers” they are baby wipes.

Objection Handling Techniques:Nigerian Style

“Sometimes all it takes is goodwill or little improvisation…”

Adeola Oyeyipo.

Objection handling techniques: Nigeria style.

Once in a while prospects say or do things that hinder a smooth closing.  Sales personal are often devastated by objections especially if they have spent a lot of time trying to close the deal.  A few years ago I was in such a position with a prospect, we had agreed on the terms and all the paper work had been completed.  All I needed to do was to pick the cheque and deliver the products.  Suddenly out of nowhere the unexpected happens and the prospect was visited by an aggrieved customer who had had a bad experience of the product.  According to the aggrieved customer my product was not in demand, it was too expensive and so on.  As a result the prospect was no longer interested in our negotiations.  As you can imagine I was shocked upon hearing this.  I sprang to action. I understood that in order to handle my prospects objection I must first come with a “clean slate.”  I approached the aggrieved woman and assured her we could put things right.  I offered to resolve any issues and errors and re-stock her. This ordinary, but strategic, deed allowed for an easy passage; I didn’t just handle the prospects objection I also gained the trust of another customer.

According to the experts objections are a call for subtle action.  They say the last thing we should do is panic when faced with them.  Rather, it is how we respond to objections that determine the ability or inability to close a deal.  According to the marketing company Hub Spot, 58% of prospects that object tend to later buy.  Ordinarily objections are a positive because it means the customer has identified issues that have to be resolved before a sale can be closed. Ultimately, the sales person’s task is to manage these objections appropriately.  Let’s highlight a few…

Ø  According to Mr. Adeola Oyeyipo, Marketing Manager of Wemy Industries, ‘You need to understand the major reason why a prospect is objecting and be careful not to argue’. He went further by saying that in Nigeria, and practically all other countries, the major reasons for rejection are not limited to; lack of money, awareness of the product, negative past experience, competition and price.  Acknowledging and even pre-empting these objections is a jump start and will help build the rapport you need to adequately provide answers before the objections surfaces.

Ø  To handle objections successfully it is essential you have expert knowledge about your product.  If you want to be taken seriously you need to be knowledgeable about your customer’s needs.  Price, value for money (real or imagined), the cost of producing the goods, and most importantly the competition are all areas that need forethought.  Crucially, you must possess good listening skills coupled with the ability to think before you speak.

Ø  Direct your answers precisely to what the prospect is asking.  Handle emotional situations with care by treating them as if they are simply a lack of information.

Ø  When your prospect is objecting listen to them carefully. Don’t leap in too soon with your response.  First be certain that you understand clearly what their objections are!

Ø  When disagreeing with a prospect on any point always do so politely and assertively.  You have to find the correct balance because you don’t want to be too overbearing but equally you don’t want to come across as meek.  Be measured, concise and factual in all your assertions.

Ø  Show empathy.  Align yourself with the customer and always talk in layman’s terms.  Put yourself in their shoes and relate to their concerns.  Importantly, place more emphasis on the areas of agreement and underplay the disagreement.  This will show that you and the prospect have more alike than different; ultimately the prospect will then drop their guard.

Handling objections always comes down to having a strategy.  Once you understand the objection chart a line of action.  Always be positive when talking to the prospect.  Positivity is contagious!  You will be amazed at the results when you put all of these together.

                                                                                                  Adewale Aderibigbe Noah

 THAT TIME OF THE MONTH (TTOTM)

A  good personal hygiene is the first step to a good health. It not only protects you from poor health, but also shields those around you from suffering illness that arises from poor personal habits such as washing of hands, brushing, using sanitary pads, washing the intimates, these may all look dulling and tedious, but they all come under important personal hygiene. In the year 2013 alone it was estimated that  over 7 billion Naira was spent  by Nigerian women on ; wigs, human hair, make ups…etc, basically, that entire amount was spent on “ becoming  someone else” . Shockingly a lot lesser was spent on hygiene and healthcare products . A survey in the western part of Nigeria alone showed that  more than 70% of the women that still menstruate do not make use of sanitary pads , 85% use one sanitary pad a day during menstruation.

Menstruation is the monthly shedding of the lining of the uterus (womb) which is released through the vaginal . An average woman have about 500 periods in a life time. Beginning  from around 12/13 (though there is evidence to suggest that bleeding is commencing earlier than this) until about 50 years  of age (though menopause can start and finish anywhere up to 10 years either side of this time). Menses (or bleeding) is supposedly what changes us from a girl into a woman. The average blood loss during menstruation is 35 milliliters. This legibly spells out the importance of sanitary pads and hygiene products,  Sanitary pads being most widely used method for menstrual management are available in many verities with different absorbency levels and sizes. Most popular ones are regular, maxi and ultra-thin pads. The growth of sanitary protection market is driven by urbanization and increasing hygiene awareness which is championed  locally in Nigeria by companies like WemyDrBrowns&Nightingale, P&G, Lady care etc. However, growth of sanitary protection still remains under-penetrated in major parts of Nigeria  as a result there are many cases of bacterial vaginosis, vulvovaginal candidiasis, these are all inflammation of the vagina and vulva( the external female genitals). For more information visit http://www.wemydrbrowns.com. Or follow us @wemydrbrowns on twitter